To be or not to be, that is the question

Kehne ko Jashan-e-bahara hai
Ishq yeh dekhke hairaan hai
Phool se khusboo khafa khafa hai gulsan mein
Chupa hai koi ranj fiza ki chilman mein
Sare sehmein nazare hain
Soye soye vaqt ke dhare hain
Aur dil mein koi khoyi si baatein hain

Kaise kahen kya hai sitam
Sochte hai abb yeh hum
Koi kaise kahen woh hai ya nahi humare
Karte to hai saath safar
Fasle hain phir bhi magar
Jaise milte nahi kisi dariya ke do kinare
Pass hain phir bhi paas nahi
Humko yeh gum raas nahi
Seeshe ki ek diware hai jaise darmiyan

Sare sehmein nazare hain
Soye soye vaqt ke dhare hain
Aur dil mein koi khoyi si baatein hain

Humne ne jo tha nagma suna
Dil ne tha usko chuna
Yeh dastan humen vaqt ne kaise sunai
Humjo agar hai gumgin
Woh bhi udhar khush to nahi
Mulakato mein jaise ghul si gai tanhai
Milke bhi hum milte nahi
Khilke bhi gul khilte nahi
Aankhon mein hai baharein dil mein khilza

Sare sehmein nazare hain
Soye soye vaqt ke dhare hain
Aur dil mein koi khoyi si baatein hain

Red, Orange and Golden

No autumn colors tint that side of the mountain: a one-sided love.

- Kaga No Chiyo

Freaking Out

I am totally not sure now if what I want is really what I want!
The last week has been a rollercoaster ride... I dont think I will ever want to go to Wonderla again!!
The mind is taking over.. HELP!!!

I know no patience

Patience, they say, is what I should have.
Patience, they say, is with what I should deal with all that is unsolved in my heart.
Patience, they say, will bring all the answers.
Patience, they say, is the companion of the wise.
Patience, they say, is the most powerful warrior.
Patience, they say, will attain all that I strive for.
Patience, they say, is passion tamed.
Patience, they say, is the principle part of faith.

But as I know how I want to spend the rest of my life, I want the rest of my life to start as soon as possible.

Patience, please say, how do I find any room for thee?

Mein thehra raha zami chalne lagi..

Ignorance is bliss. When you dont kno yourself you are busy finding out.. and it pretty much takes the focus away from the aspects of who you might be. But when you find out, the sudden rush of realization goes wooshing past and you are left behind, standing, staring, totally oblivious of what just hit you and wondering if it was better when you did not know...

Ae waqt ruk ja, tham ja theher ja
Wapas zara daud peeche
Main chhod aayi khud ko jahan pe
Woh reh gaya mod peeche

Dancing in the Rain

So close to my heart.
Your thoughts cannot part
From me
No matter how much I try
You were, you are, you will
Remain…
A beautiful song which I sang!

I cannot name this feeling
Which I feel
With you by my side
You have cast a spell on me
I call it
Magic
A mystery

You feel so real
Not just a character I dreamed up
Believe me
But if you really are my imagination
Never mind,
Stay put where you are
Just let it be

You made me cry
And laugh
Made me feel all the Emotions that exist
Life is not the same anymore
Without you.
Things seem dull, insane

Why is every face Like yours?
Every voice,
like yours?
Like a misty fog
An unexplainable joy
So profound
I feel like Dancing in the rain!!!

by Nazia Praveen

It works

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
-Oscar Wilde

Oh That Smile

Brilliant fireworks in the night sky
Golden color of autumn
First drops of summer rain
Magic in the moment

Enchanting moon on a bed of shining stars
The green of the sea
Fairy tales told at bedtime
Blueberry cheese pastry

Romes and Parises of the world
Beautiful pieces of art
Unexpected pleasant surprises
And poems that speaks the heart

Each time you smile at me
The smile has similar effect
I tumble down falling free
And life seems so perfect

Yet, all the joys put together
Could not possibly match
The way my heart is intoxicated by
That smile... oh that smile of yours

(Disclaimer: The characters appearing in this work are fictitious. No similarity to actual person/s is intended or should be inferred.)

Delusion

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I’ll carry you
You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?

(from Before Sunrise)

Boss-isms

My boss gives me really good stuff to think of.

He says:

"Its better to take a wrong decision than no decision at all."

“Learn how to differentiate between Urgency and Importance. Never become a victim of other people's urgencies and give up or delay what is important to you."

"Khushboo, presentation is everything in consulting business. Even if your content is a little shaky, a good presentation can cover it up and leave the audience in awe."

"Learn by taking baby steps. You can run only after that."

More to follow...

The Good, the Evil and Me

"There is an old illusion - it is called good and evil."

Yesterday, I saw a picture and it got me thinking. It had a clear message: everything is black or white. There are no shades of gray. You can choose to be good or you can choose to be evil, you cannot be indifferent and choose not to be any. Being good or evil is just a binary choice.

Is it an illusion we are living in? Had it been so simple all evil would have been dead by now. Only good would have prevailed. If you could sieve and separate the two, people would probably choose to be good all the time. Being evil isn’t everyone's favorite state of being usually. At least people don’t accept it.

Even if there were people who liked to be evil, it would just be a matter of choice. Life would be oh so simple. It would in fact lay down a very clear path for everyone's life. Every time there is a fork on the road, people would know which way to take depending on what they like to be, good or evil.

There is a big flaw in this theory and that is because of the assumption of ceteris paribus. This theory assumes that every time someone is at crossroads, it is just the choice between good and evil that matters. It ignores the ever changing circumstances and it ignores the effect the decision will have on other people.

What is good for one might be evil for another. Let’s take war for example. A soldier would go to the front and kill a few for his country. It is good noble deed. But it is a gross evil for the family of those who he has killed. For that matter killing itself is evil. How do we define this action? We cannot ignore the trickle down and trickle up effect of anything.

There is gray. In fact there is red, blue, yellow, green, mauve, magenta, peach, brown, lilac, maroon, orange, turquoise, purple, gold, cream, off white, ivory, charcoal, beige, cyan and indigo too. And this is what we choose from. Not just black and white. We can choose to walk on the grass or take a detour through the woods instead of taking one of the paved paths on the crossroad. This is what makes life interesting.

Between the heavenly good and the forsaken evil, I live my normal unpredictable life. I rationally hear the arguments of the angel on my right shoulder and the devil on my left, mix the black and white and get a totally new hue of life.

Between Mind and Heart

I have a very neat mind. Everything gets compartmentalized in it. Every thought is processed carefully and consciously. It uses basic formulas to calculate the output. These formulas are based only on facts. Nothing is abstract. The output, my thoughts and decisions, is hence sound and simple derived from pure logic. I have lived with this mind for 25 years now. I have a sneaky feeling that it’s started malfunctioning.

The calculator in my mind is fairly simple. It does not use any formula with functions of heart. I let my heart do what its good at: pumping blood. With heart problems being so common in people these days, it’s best not to exert it unnecessarily. Also I strongly believe in the concept of comparative advantage. Everything should do what it is good at. This is the most optimal use of resources and leads to pareto efficient point of being. The job of the heart is to pump blood, it should do just that. The job of the mind is to think and analyze, it should do just that. And with the mind sans any pumping mechanism, the situation becomes really complicated when the heart starts thinking. It leads to inefficiency and sometimes even complete breakdown of the system. Now I would definitely not want to run my life like the economy of some country...

I believe it has been established beyond all doubt that 'Every man (thing) to his (its) job' is the philosophy of an optimal life. I would like to point out that this works best with laissez-faire. But I had forgotten to factor in the externalities....

This misassumption in the design of the mental calculator has led to slight complications and malfunctioning. Now the heart is being overworked as its doing its own job as well as doing some of the thinking for the mind. The heart has started calling the thoughts feelings. So now we have a jargon problem too. And as the mental calculator is getting data from the mind as well as the heart, its confused as to which statistics to pick for final output. The result is getting messier by the day and unless some higher intervention is introduced it might lead to system failure.

What is important at this point of time is to remove the externality. It is a temporary solution I know, but it will buy me time to redesign and get back previously prevailing sanity.

Smile

That smile you give. God, every time I think I can live without you, you give me that smile. You really shouldn't do that to me.

Stuntman

Another of my pictionary drawings :)

Nostalgia

Questions unasked, answers unsought, words unuttered, lines un-scribbled, emotions unexpressed, gifts not exchanged, apologies not offered, jokes unshared, places unvisited, pictures not clicked, farewells missed, walks and bike rides unfinished, games not played, conversations unfinished, won while losing and lost even after winning. This is how it ended. One of the most beautiful chapters of our lives comes to an end. An experience which was so gratifying and yet so incomplete. Adieu GIM, only till we meet again!

Thats Joey's status message on gtalk... as the batch of 07-09 say their goodbyes to GIM, they trigger a feeling of deja vu. The strong feeling of missing people, places and things is almost tangible. I guess we will let go.. slowly.. a little bit with every next batch's goodbyes.

What Good Weekends Are Made Of

Of Pictionaries and Unos
Of Cards and Toothpics
Of CCDs and Coffees
Of Sandwiches and Iced Teas
Of Orchids and Table mats
Of Movies and Songs
Of Horror Scenes and Dance Shows
Of Mast Calandars and Paans
Of Drives and Walks
Of Terreces and Moons
Of Minute Maids and Cokes
Of Ballygunjs and Indranagars
Of Stars and Winds
Of Grapes and Khakras
Of Bangalores and Calcuttas
Of Icecreams and Chocolate syrups
Of Evenings and Nights
Of Pick up and Drops
Of Specs and Health Check ups
Of Corner Houses and DBCs
Of Winning and Kicking Asses
Of Sunrises and Water Tanks
Of Good Friends and Happinesses

crocodile-i-drew

I tried selling this pic. Following are the responses I got:

Bidder 1: 50 paisa... Accha Re 1 lelo.

Bidder 2: I think u need to pay people to even look at your ugly drawing. So ur payment to me is due!

Bidder 3: $50 or a cup of coffee but on the condition that you sign the picture.

Bidder 4: $100 if you get it enlarged and framed.

Finally I decided that I like it too much to sell it to anyone. But if I can manage to get 100 dollars for something I took like 30 seconds to draw, I just might have a future in the creative world of art and architecture....

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Well literally..!

You would know if you have played pictionary. It’s a game where a player draws a picture and the team members guess the word. Quite like dumb charades, except it’s about drawing and not acting. Sometimes people would go on guessing everything in the world except for the word that’s meant... a pic is worth a thousand words!

I have always loved this game in spite of not being a good drawer. Imagine my disappointment when I was told that Brew Ha-ha closed down while I was away. It was one of my bestest places in Bangalore. :(

But then pictionary happened again :D
Quite out of the blue. I randomly went out with Nidhi and her friends, and to my surprise found that Indranagar CCD had all sorts of games too. Still… having games around with no one enthusiastic enough to play is as good as not having the games around. But then again, I was with a bunch of very very over-enthused people. We played pictionary till late evening, then Uno and I had a very good Friday evening.

But that’s not where it stops. Saturday evening was even more fun. I went against my principles and played cards with money :( Ended up losing 500 bucks too! hehe... And then we played pictionary till early morning even without the game board and word cards. We took random words and drew them on the table mats of The Royal Orchid... it was like being back in school with no cares in the words.. we just played away to glory! Just awesome...

There were other highs and lows of the weekend as well.. things that made me sad and the same things that made me extremely happy.. but thats for some other day and some other post.

My fondest memory of playing pictionay is when I drew the word mummy. We (Nidhi and I) were at Brew Ha-ha. I thought it would be easier to draw Egyptian mummy rather than a woman with kids. I drew a human form with bandages. Nidhi could not guess. I even drew a pyramid.. still no guesses..! We ended up literally fighting. She claimed that noone could ever guess that it was a mummy. So, I randomly asked a guy at the next table if he could make out wat the pic was and he was like yeah..its mummy. Nidhi was shocked, i was surprised and we ended up laughing our guts out!

I will post a picture of the crocodile I drew this weekend. She guessed it within seconds :)

I m no c h i c k e n

Every time I read a Stephen King I resolve not to.. ever again..

I don’t get scared or anything.. who gets scared of a story?! I am not a freak! Everything is perfectly fine till the lights are on. I enjoy reading him.

But.

When I switch off the lights and am alone in the room and the night's a little windy and the curtains move and there are eerie shadows on the walls and I have nearly slept but not quite.. it gets tini-wini uncomfortable. Then a dog whines outside inevitably. The subconscious plays silly tricks and I am wide awake... Not good for work the next day..

I know it’s crazy to think that there can be something under the bed and I have never thought so in the day time...

I follow the principle of elemination

I dont know what I want, but I 'definitely' know what I dont want.

Mera Hindustan

France dekha, Italy dekha aur dekha Germany ka autobahn
Saare jahan me kahin nahi hai dusra hindustan
Switzerland dekha, Luxumburg dekha aur dekha Spain ka asmaan
Saare jahan me kahin nahi hai dusra hindustan
Netherlands dekha, Belgium dekha, aur dekha Vatican ka bhajan gaan
Saare jahan me kahin nahi hai dusra hindustan

Rome, is forever and a day

Rome, is forever and a day,..

The beauty of this ancient city steals your breath away,
…While the charm, grace and warmth of her people beckons one to stay.
Rome, is forever and a Day

When Lovers stroll along the via Veneto, the silent sounds of violins begin to Play,
.....while the musical cords and strings of romantic melodies accompany them along the way.
Rome, is forever and a day

Many lovers first meet on the Spanish Steps and walk hand in hand along the Via Condotti,
Many young lovers toss coins into the fountain of trevi and silently pray,
.....to visit again some day, for
Rome, is forever and a day

This is something I found on internet. It by Joseph P. Martino.

When In Rome Do as Romans Do

I:
1) Ate pizza
2) Went to Vatican
3) Wished at the Fountain of Travi
4) Travelled on the Leonardo da Vinci train
5) Roamed the cobblestone streets under the moonlight
6) Ate Panini
7) Prayed at Pantheon
8) Got wet in the rain
9) Rode a bus without a ticket
10) Catacombed
11) Had Geleto
12) Discovered art in everything
13) Had home made pasta
14) Lived in a room that had a window opening into a small alley with beautiful balconies
15) Crossed the roads running
16) Made new friends
17) Awed at the coliseum
18) Bought chic clothes
19) Sat on the Spanish steps and read (a map though)
20) Strolled along via Veneto
21) Prayed in a zillion churches
22) Window shopped at Via dei Condotti
23) Ate chestnuts
24) Was even asked if I was a Roman

I was in Rome and I did as Romans do...!

Words of Wisdom

"It was like discovering both a person and a place that I knew existed but hadnt really known/explored. " - by Coffee

Impressive...

Monday Morning Blues

Yea.. Its Monday morning blues time again. Back to boring office, half in sleep, bitter coffee... this is all what all good, true to the name, Mondays are made of.

But its all a matter of relativity. When you are having fun, time passes faster. When time passes faster, the weekend gets over faster. Monday morning comes too soon and the day seems longer coz you aren’t having fun like the fun you were having during the weekend. So a boring day seems even more stupid and boring than it actually is coz it is definitely dull’er’ in comparison to the weekend.

I don’t think its Monday’s fault. It’s the weekend’s fault. But this is how its been in the world, someone sins and another pays for it. Poor Monday, overshadowed and hated because of Sunday!

Vibert

I sent the Dilbert quote to other BAs in my project. Posting Vibhav's reply. It perfectly portrays how frustrated we are:

"I'll be more than happy to make these stupid, moronic and unnecessary changes to this irrelevant, useless, worthless document with all the speed and haste, inspite of the fact that this will eventually lead to nothing, but I am happy (quoting Droopy)." - Vibert

:P

He said it!

"I'll be happy to make these unnecessary changes to this irrelevant document." - Dilbert

:)

When I dont know how to reply to a question or dont want my opinion to be known, I just smile or do a small giggle (hehe types). This saves me from giving a verbal comment. It confuses the person and leaves him wondering whether that was a yes or a no or a duh (sometimes even i dont know which of these it is). Generally people think its a "duh!" and this prevents them from asking for clarity for the obvious. It does get me into trouble sometimes when a person is bold or clear enough to demand straight answers. But its very handy in like 9 out of 10 cases.

Try it, you ll like it!

Mondays are Good... Atleast Some

After a lot of confusion, mixed emotions and unstability over the weekend, a busy work filled Monday with like a zillion meetings and a million work related stuff to do is almost as welcomed as a steaming cup of coffee on a cold cold day. It helps forget all the prevailing madness in life, well..unless you decide to write about it in your blog! Kiddin... But really this is the first Monday of my life that I just loved.. right from getting out of bed to reaching office at 8. I didnt crib at all (yea I crib a lot in my mind every Monday morning...)

I gotta run for another workshop, so dear blog, I will leave you with the song:

Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.

Homer's toast

Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

Living in Sin City

Amsterdam
Escape
Irish coffee
Being lonely
Bacardi
Canal Cruise
Malibu
Salsa
Taquila
French Fries
Hash Brownie
Night
Grasshopper
Windows
Innocence
Cold
Love
High
Wine
Rolling joints
Party
Red
Pleasure
Van Gogh
Guilt
Cannabis
Lust
Beauty

Romance of France

This is the romance of France, an open air bathroom... I was totally amazed seeing this! Look at the dried leaves on the ground, and the hand pump thats used to fill in the bath tub.. it was like wow!

Cold And Beautiful

Amsterdam is a poem of harmony between man and nature. Else how could they have possibly made such a pretty place out of reclaimed land from the sea? Everyday I am inspired by the beauty of this place. White frozen canals, snow on the sidewalks, brick houses, lonely bridges... its like a painter paints this town afresh everyday.

The romantic canals define the beauty of this place. Especially in the winters when they are frozen. What could be more perfect than standing hand in hand on a bridge on a canal and watching the moon go down.... or sitting on a bench by sparkling water and seeing the sun set. You can see a thousand stars in the water during day when the sun's rays fall on it, and another thousand you can see in the sky at night.

The sky too is different from the Indian sky. It seems closer... The clouds are thicker and whiter. And the airplanes cutting across them, leaving a trail of their presence makes it look like we have a say in what nature throws at us.

The view from my window at home makes me want to write. There is a small lake, trees around it, a lonely dirt path and a bench on it. Postcard pretty. I regret that its too cold to spend a peaceful evening on the bench looking at the ducks in the lake and contemplating the meaning of life.

And the view from my office window is (sign) equally enchanting. I can see a church, a canal and windmills (not the wooden ones though). I can see tall buildings and the train station too, but because the rest of it is so pretty, I am ready to discount them!

And amidst all the romance and beauty, I am all alone :(

Amsterdam is indeed “cold” and beautiful.